33 days and then some

That's what the counter on my iGoogle says. 33 days and then some hours and minutes and seconds attached. It's counting down until I am done with this crazy busy nursing program that thinks we can do 60 credits in nursing in one year. One year. I have 8 credits right now. 8 final credits to do in five weeks. And then I wait six weeks after August 15th, and I take the boards. And then I'm an RN?

If it doesn't get scarier than that, I will also be doing my transition to professional nursing rotation in the ER, by choice. Toward the end of this clinical, which is I remind you, in four weeks, I will be working somewhat independently. Who's scared? Definitely me. I can remember vividly in October trying to draw blood from a fellow student. I could feel the room spin and the dizzy feeling set in. Not from the site of blood, but the fact that I was sticking a needle into the vein of someone I liked. Now I'm going someplace where they are going to expect me to be able to do this.

Breathing deeply.

The best thing I think though is that in four weeks I may actually have time to blog again.

Ortho and Trauma: The Long Explanation

I appreciate all the feedback. It was a hard decision for me. I felt like I was deciding my fate when I made the choice; I said as much to fellow students registering. Mostly they looked at me like I was crazy. Am the only one nervous about this?

In September I start a one year intensive program to earn my BSN. I mostly can't believe I got in, but here I go. The problem is that I'm not sure what kind of nursing I'm going to end up wanting to do. When I wrote my essays for the application (three of them) I concentrated on pediatric nursing. I think I'd still like to do that, but one of the wonderfully daunting things I've discovered is that a BSN degree is so so broad. There are so many types of nursing out there and a BSN qualifies one to do many of them. Everyone once in awhile I think about going to do nursing in under-developed countries. In fact before I decided that I wanted to apply to my program, I specifically looked at Medecin san Frontieres to see if they wanted nurses too. (They do, but for longer commitments than doctors.) It seems that having some good experience in trauma might help with that-- and the ability to think quick and fast on one's feet.

I also think I could do oncology for all its sadness. Actually I started out thinking I wanted to do pediatric oncology or the PICU. But I think I could adults too.

And then there's public health also, which I think I might really love. I adored that Microbiology course. I understand public health would be considerably different. But the idea of nurse epidemiologist sounds fun too.

Of course there's always labor and delivery, which I also admit sounds great. I thought I'd wait until I went through it myself to see if I might like it. I have to say I loved everyone of my nurses in L&D. But why limit myself to hospital nursing? There's the RE nurses-- totally different-- but don't you think you would have loved a nurse who really knew what it was like to go through IVF?

The thing is I think right now, knowing me, I might like to go back for some advanced practice type of degree. But mostly I want to enjoy doing my work. It's daunting then to pick a clinical when I know the scope of things out there. I want to be a good nurse; knowledgeable, empathetic, gentle (but firm when I need to be)-- but I don't know what field. I have one short, crammed year.

I ended up choosing after asking a current student in the program what the different clinical instructors were like and she noted the one for Ortho and Trauma was pretty laid back, concentrating more on the student's particular "experience" rather than paperwork. This could come back to bite me in the ass when I get an instructor who's heavy on the paperwork, but I'm nervous enough. I love the idea of someone focusing on experience and who's easy going. Ortho and Trauma were already on my short list (the other real viable choices for me were bone marrow transplant and oncology or general surgery, but I nixed general surgery because that's at the same hospital I'll be doing maternal health at-- I want to get mixed hospital experiences also.)

To say I'm anxious is an understatement. Mostly I try to not think about it too much, but I keep having to complete compliance requirements and it keep reminding me. I can't be the only one feeling this way...

First Clinicals

I signed up for my first clinical yesterday. I could have chosen to work with:

• -GI, kidney, and liver transplants
• -General surgery and oncology
• -Bone marrow transplant and oncology
• -Orthopedics and trauma

What would you have chosen? I'm particularly interested if you are a nurse. I'm hoping I didn't make a horrible decision. It's hard when you don't particularly know exactly what kind of nursing you want to do. I'll tell you in the next post what I chose. But seriously, if you are a nurse, I'm really really interested in hearing from you about this. I can probably change my clinical until about 2:00 today.

Some Yet Unnamed Circle of Hell

That's where I am. In that circle. It's reserved for people who try to take Organic Biochemistry in one accelerated semester. If I don't pass, I don't start nursing school in the fall. Okay, I think I'll pass the class, but my GPA might be in some serious danger.

Seriously, do I really need to know this shit or is it just another hoop?

I suspect the latter.

I have to go to lab now. I hate that I have to leave my baby for many hours a day only to sit in a class and try to not hyperventilate with the rest of the class. Group hyperventilation: There's a sight to behold.

If I wasn't in class missing Cricket, and if the class wasn't double time, I might almost enjoy it. But now, I'm just shaking in my Birks.

Off to lab...