Tuesday, May 30, 2006

2,163 Worries and Joys

All weekend, friends and family we saw kept smiling at us, hugging me gently as if I would break. Being excited. And I felt like Miranda on that one episode of Sex and the City, where she has to feign excitement about having a boy. I smiled, but felt nervous. I didn't want anyone to be really juiced up yet. Truth be told, I've been restraining myself.

I mean, after all, what symptoms do I have? None. No nausea, no cravings, nothing. Everything normal so far. People keep asking me, "How do you feel?" in an anxious little whisper. "Like myself." It's the best I can do. I'm more tired, but I feel like me. One morning I thought I was feeling a little sick, and then realized I took my prenatal on an empty stomach. Once I ate a piece of toast, I was okay. I slept a little in the afternoon yesterday, which is atypical, but other than that, I'm just me. I also swam, which I had a feeling my RE would nix if I asked (and I did today, and I was right, he nixed it), but I did it anyway. It was freaking 90 some degrees, my parents have a pool, and I'll be damned if I wasn't getting in it.

This morning, I woke up and was tired one hour after I woke up. That's a sign, right? But maybe it's just a sign that I'm lazy, not pregnant. We went to the RE, where of course everyone smiled at more, and I love everyone in that office, so I had to smile back, but so nervous. So so nervous.

After the blood draw, we went to the mall to drop off my stupid car at Sears. And then of course I decided we needed a soaker hose for the new landscaping we put in over the weekend. And then Partner needed more mascara, and then I decided I should get a little pressie for my friend Lynne's new baby [Mazel Tov!], and I started crying in Children's Place. I actually started to get excited. I held Partner's hand very tightly. Why do baby clothes make me cry? I want them all so badly. We paused outside every baby shop in the mall. Gymboree. Baby Gap. We stood and clasped hands. "I'll shop in Baby Gap," Partner said to me. Her eyes-- they were bold with excitement. My partner has some beautiful eyes.

Then the waiting. And at five to four, five minutes before the clinic closed, I still hadn't heard anything. I emailed off to Pamplemousse, my sister in crime, with my woes. I told her the clinic always calls early with good numbers and leaves the bad number calls until later in the day. I was convinced the numbers had plummeted. No one wanted to call and tell me. It's a little like applying to college: the thick packet means you're in. The thin letter means you're out. Take this and theorize from there: early=good, and late=bad.

Apparently this theory is flawed. I figured out earlier today that doubling and doubling again would mean I needed to be at least 1352. This number seems unreachable. I would never be able to reach it.

Again, flawed theory resting on flawed theory. Since the number is 2,163.

Son of pup. I think I might be pregnant.

Ultrasound: Next Tuesday, 12:45

34 Comments:

Anonymous DD said...

First you had me smiling, now I'm sitting at my desk and I'm crying. I don't know why. I'm pathetic, I guess.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Katie, I'm so happy for you and Partner!

I didn't have many symptoms. I had mild, mild nausea that didn't set in until around seven weeks (not even enough for me to call morning sickness). I was tired, but I didn't realize it until I wasn't anymore. And...that was it. No vomitting, no sore boobs, nothing unusual. I didn't "feel pregnant" until about 15w, and that's with twins.

Your beta is great, NBHHY.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Chelsie said...

Oh! Baby Gap is my favorite! ...and in 9 months you'll soon have someone in your house tiny enough to wear those clothes!

CONGRATULATIONS!!

I'm suffering the 2WW right now... and not very well. Thinking (read: hoping) I see a few signs today... at least enough to fool myself.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Soul Searching said...

You had me all nervous for a minute there, but then 2163!!!! BITCHIN!!!!

5:18 PM  
Blogger PortLairge said...

You are sooooooooooooooooooooooo pregnant. Oh Katie, I am so excited for you. I didn't have many symptoms except tiredness until the 6 or 7 week mark I think. I'll have to check back. Tell Partner, congrats too.

5:40 PM  
Anonymous finn said...

Ohhhh, I'll never handle the suspense of waiting for your u/s till next Tuesday. That seems like forever. I am so excited for you guys. Congrats!

5:49 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Thats a fantastic number. I am so excited for you and partner. Congratulations again. Next Tuesday seems like a lifetime away! Go celebrate, buy some baby clothes, spoil yourselves! Wooohooo!!!!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Calliope said...

kick ass #'s, gal!!!
woo hooo!!!!

6:16 PM  
Blogger amyesq said...

WOW! That is a very lovely number! Now how are we supposed to get through this next week? Between you and Amanda and Pamplemousse, it will be a major pins and needles week. In a totally good way.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Delurking to say ROCK ON with those fabulous numbers! Congrats!

9:18 PM  
Blogger NMsurrogate said...

Katie and Partner,
Still so thrilled!!! Congratulations to both of you on your PREGNANCY! I had no symptoms, just a little tired, until 8 or 9 weeks when my boobs turned into heavy, painful boulders. BTW, morning sickness is not required. I never had it, not once. I can't wait to hear all about your u/s. Please allow yourself to enjoy this pregnancy. I have a great meditation for you if you run anxious like me and like that kind of thing.
All my best,
Erika

10:24 PM  
Blogger Gabrielle said...

Great numbers! You transfered how many? Three? Hhmmm... Can't wait for the ultrasound results!!!

12:59 AM  
Anonymous Pygmalion's Wife said...

HOORAY for nice strong numbers! This one sounds like a "keeper." Or is "one" the wrong word, here? Wouldn't you just have a friggin STROKE if it was twins? BWAHHH! How will we all survive until next Tuesday??? Daily updates!

2:12 AM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Good grief, you eejit! Are you trying to upset me??? I was on hecklepins all night waiting for this. Did you hear that huge exhale from me there????

4:24 AM  
Anonymous Sassy said...

Next Tuesday is going to be a Very big day. I'm so happy for you.

7:28 AM  
Blogger Nico said...

Wow, just wow! That's a great number. Sounds like everything is progessing marvellously in there.

Why exactly did your RE say you couldn't swim? That's one of the exercises that is highly recommended for pg women. I played ice hockey until 12 wks - it's not as if exercising is going to shake the embryo loose or anything!

7:42 AM  
Blogger fisher queen said...

What a great number! Don't worry about not feeling any different yet. There is plenty of time for nausea. Though you may be lucky and never get it!

8:44 AM  
Blogger frog said...

Holy shit!

I mean, wow! Heartfelt congratulations and things.

Or, you know. HOLY SHIT!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

9:22 AM  
Anonymous tonya cinnamon said...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
i am jumpping up and down here for ya ;-)
.. them numbers keep on climbing!!!!!!
congrats!!^__^

9:43 AM  
Blogger Pixie said...

Okay. Crying. At work.

This is such wonderful news!!!!

Its okay to be nervous! I am still nervous and Jade's 3 3/4 years old-hello!!! Its a mama's lot in life. So don't worry!

And by the way- The only "symptoms" I had the whole first trimester were very big heavy boobies (after 6 weeks), and-- EXTREME EXHAUSTION!
Sleep, lady... rest, and be joyful!

CONGRATS!
Lissa

10:31 AM  
Blogger chris said...

Oh my, baby clothes. I know, I know. I'm right there with you.

The news is fantastic. Congrats to the both of you.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

I am soooooooooooooooo excited! xo

11:31 AM  
Blogger Firefly said...

OH MY GOD!!!!

You are having her baby!
How awesome is that, now no one can say "Who is the real Mom?"

DanceofjoyDanceofjoyDanceofjoyDanceofjoyDanceofjoyDanceofjoyDanceofjoy

P.S. Thank you so much for unselfishly posting results asap, I know it is hard with all of the uncertainty, but I was peeing my pants waiting to find out and you prevented a messy situation.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Emilin said...

Great things are coming your way! :D

I'm also curious why swimming was nixed.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Mandy said...

Yay on great numbers! I've been anxiously waiting on an update. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'end up with the right balance of symptoms--enough to ease your fears but not too much that they're a pain in the ass! Congrats!

2:28 PM  
Blogger Scoutgjee said...

Way back when, after doing a search for lesbians trying to conceive, yours was one of the first blogs I ever read. I am so thrilled to see you've succeeded in your quest. We are not quite there yet, but hope to follow in your footsteps very shortly. Congratulations!!!

3:01 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

It's so nice to be able to congratulate you after every post! It's like my daily dose of good lesbians-getting-pregnant news. I'll just live vicariously through you.

I say just get on board the pregnancy excitement train! Revel in the more-than-doubling numbers, all the congratulatory comments, and the shining eyes and supportive smiles. Maybe it's imprudent, but to hell with prudence. Good news rocks!

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Mary said...

OMG!!!

*DANCING*

We are SOOOO happy for you! Keep us updated!

This is gonna be a loved little baby - or maaaaybe loved little BABIES... (hey, you never know!)

5:12 PM  
Blogger witchtrivets said...

Wow! I can't believe it. Well, I can believe it, but I am not so up on all my pregnancy science so I wasn't sure what all the numbers meant. But this sounds like really good news. So heck yeah. This is pretty darn exciting.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous Erin said...

So very happy for you and Partner! That's a fabulous number.

10:59 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

OK - I'm a little bit late in my blog reading.... But that doesn't diminish my excitement for you!!!! I am so happy to see that number climbing higher and higher!!!

11:11 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Congrats! I hope everything continues to go well. Don't even fret about the symptoms - The only thing I had was fatigue and not getting my period. I felt fine, just like I always did. The 2nd trimester was great, because I felt fine, and not tired at all. 3rd trimester I retained so much water... But this is all ahead of you! I am so excited for you and Partner! I hope this is the year everyone gets knocked up! Your betas kick ass! Can't wait for the US. Post frequently, missy! Love to you and Partner - have a great weekend!

2:06 PM  
Blogger abster said...

Katie and Partner,

Congrats! I tried to post a few days ago when I read about your first doubled Beta, but my computer was fritzy. I am so thrilled to see the Betas climbing like that....when do you guys get to go in for your first ultrasound? It's an amazing thing...and so is feeling the babies kicking (which is what I am doing as a full time job, being plastered to partner's belly these days). Good luck with everything and keep the wonderful posts coming!

Ab

12:43 PM  
Blogger Shana said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I run a website that lists ttc, expecting, and new parent bloggers to help us all find one another. I have added your blog to the due date listings. If you would like for me to remove the link to your blog or if I need to correct any information, please do let me know.

My website is Babes in Blogland and my email address is my3monkeys at gmail dot com.

Thank you and congratulations again!

11:11 PM  

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