Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Fat Face

We're doing it all over again even though it didn't quite work the first time.

No, not IVF. South Beach diet.

Mostly this is Manuela's fault. She started talking about the SBD and I recounted this to Partner and we agreed we'd do this if I wasn't pregnant. Guess what? I'm not pregnant.

And I don't know why, but it feels so much harder this time. It's day three and I want to eat the forbidden fruit very badly. I'm serious: I'm craving apples. How can a diet where I cannot eat apples possibly be good for me?

Never mind. When we did this before our commitment ceremony, we were serious for the first two weeks, and then slightly serious after that. We lost 30 to 40 pounds each. We gained it all back. And here we are again: Fat and jolly.

Losing twenty pounds or so before the next pregnancy attempt sounds delightful. But so does a Reese peanut butter cup. Or cake. I love cake. I threw out a doughnut someone brought to me at the office. Do you even know how hard this was for me? To throw out a doughnut? I felt my soul go in the trash after it.

When we woke up this morning, we both admitted we had dreamed of food last night. In my dream, someone was in my kitchen cooking all sorts of food that had taboo ingredients. Like milk. I was steaming spinach. Partner dreamed she was at her grandfather's house drinking gallons of soy milk.

But this weekend, someone took a picture of the two of us and I was appalled at my fat face. It doesn't even look like who I think I am. I'm trying to remember that as I embark on a trip to the grocery store. There I will buy salmon, some garlic, and lite ricotta cheese. I will ignore bread, coca-cola, and cereal. I will delight in Laughing Cow cheese with celery. (Yes, I will-- damnit.)

I won't tell you how much I weigh now, or even after this grand experiment, but I will tell you if I lose the weight before IVF #3. We might not have much time either. Partner feels like she's getting ready to start her period.

SBD Goal #1: To stop my rapid morphing into Broderick Crawford.


Blogger Jen said...

Um. Well. You might not want to open the package, then, when it arrives. Now the whole damn thing is taboo. :(

Ah, open it for the card if for nothing else!

12:02 PM  
Blogger amyesq said...

YOU CAN DO IT! Dang, if Porky Pig (I) can do it, you definitely can. And don't think I won't be checking in on you from my trip because I WILL! :)

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Luck!

I thought TTC would be the best motivation I could find to lose weight. Turns out I can only obsess over one thing at a time, TTC or weight loss. TTC is winning my obsession time right now, so I'm none too happy with my weight. I hope you have more success that I do!

Rachel Y

1:00 PM  
Blogger Gretch said...

Hi! We are right there with ya - My partner and I are on Day 3 of a similar diet - and all I want is a giant-sized bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs!

I suppose it's worth it - I've lost about 15 pounds so far this year, and it was enough to help get my cycles back to normal - so in theory it should make TTC easier. We'll see in a few months.

We've been following your blog for a little while, and recently started our own. Hope you don't mind that we added your blog to the links of blogs we have been reading regularly.

Good luck at the grocery store!

1:43 PM  
Blogger Mandy said...

All this fertility treatment nonsense (6 rounds of clomid, 2 miscarriages) took it's toll on me too. I'm heavier now than I've ever been. Goodluck to you and partner on SBD!

1:47 PM  
Blogger Jean said...

Good luck. I hope that it works for you.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Emilin said...

This diet bars you from steamed spinach? I'm fascinated and appalled.

2:39 PM  
Blogger fisher queen said...

I'm on a similar diet and have tried it in the past. My experience has been that the first few days are really hard, but after that I feel better and drop the lbs. Good luck!

2:42 PM  
Blogger chris said...

Good luck. Although you have about six more months of winter up there right? So no one will notice your progress for a while, what with all the layers of clothing and all.

hehehe. I'll remind myself of that joke when it's 105 degrees here in July.

7:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I made this - - last night based on advice from my dietician. Now I just have to use it.

12:04 AM  
Blogger frog said...

You look nothing like that guy.

Come over and we will ply you with The Wine That You Can Drink On This Diet.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

I've got this problem too - the one where I'm constantly stunned when I see a photograph of myself. I always think I'm thinner then I actually am. I call this being a dyslexic anorexic.

Good luck with the diet! And with the next IVF cycle. I'm thinking fertile thoughts for you both : )

12:40 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Oh, please inspire me to do it too! I cannot get into the groove at all.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

My soul is in the trash with your soul eating that doughnut.

But I'm also wishing you well on this latest undertaking. I know how great it feels to lose weight (at least I have a faint distant memory), and I KNOW you could use a lift these days. So I hope it works out. And I hope it's just the beginning of good things to come.

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Manuela said...

C'mon girl... you CAN do this!!! Go back and look at my post... the one that shows five or six inches to spare after FOUR WEEKS of South Beach!!

8:27 PM  

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