Thursday, July 27, 2006

Pukeus Maximus

Remember my air conditioning rant? Yeah. So do I. And I think I might turn it on. It's so humid my hair isn't drying during the day and the cats are flopping, literally, at my feet. Right now, Eli the love cat is turned on his back with his face looking at me practically begging for the air. Of course none of these things would usually sway me, but one thing has managed to make me question the no a/c policy: Puking.

Listen, if you've met me it's no mystery that I love to eat. I like food and, well, it shows! But lately I've been so sick and full of nausea that I can't even think about food. Partner says, "What should we eat for dinner?" and I puff out my cheeks at her and make a face. I bought a bar of a sandalwood soap yesterday and it's sitting on the kitchen counter. Partner says, "I'll take that upstairs," and I yell, "NO! It's my pantry-poesy!" I need to hold it up to my nose to even look in the pantry, otherwise something in there smells so bad, I gag and hightail it around the corner to the powder room. Partner assures that nothing really does smell in there, but she must be lying.

My mother has asked me whether I can smell the food through the fridge door yet, because apparently she could. It hasn't happened, and if does, I might start camping in the back yard.

I've decided I should chronicle a list of all the places where I've thrown up around town-- In the back of truck stops, Costco, driving down Washtenaw, behind an office complex off Stadium, more times that I'd like to admit in the parking lot of school, Trader Joe's bathroom (and it smells good in there!) and the list goes on. And on. And on. But there's no place like home. Every toilet, all four of them, knows my face well, and I tell you, that's just not natural.

Mostly puking doesn't bug me because I feel like it's Cricket just telling me everything is a-ok! (I'm alive, Mama!). But the not wanting to eat? Not fair! I don't like it! I want to eat!! And Jesus, Mary, and Joseph-- has this country always been so food obsessed? I can't watch one more freaking advertisement for a burger or "fiery boneless chicken wings made from all white breast meat" (and wtf is that??)

I feel like I should be eating a ton of the great vegetables and fruit available at the farmer's market, but Wednesday I couldn't even get myself down there because I was too busy revisiting breakfast. I want to give the kid the best of nutrition, but what I'm really craving is some fair-fries-- You know the kind, with the skins still on in places, and sliced thin, and doused with salt and vinegar. I'll pass on the vinegar, but the fries? Yes, please. And lobster. Don't ask me why, but it's sounded so divine for weeks now, I think I just might need to eat it. God. Loaded down with butter. Now? Okay. And sushi sounds great, but of course, we know how the sushi goes with pregnancy. Last night we made Indian, and the only thing I really got my chops around was the papadums. Hm? Fried and salty seems like a theme! This morning I really thought a full Irish sounded great, but by the time I made it downstairs, there was no way on God's green earth that anything resembling an egg, never mind rashers, was coming near my mouth. I managed some raspberry yogurt.

Everyone tells me it will end soon, and I keep counting on it. 13 weeks, 2 days today-- It can stop anytime soon and I can get back to my normal eating self. Until then, just call me what Partner does: Pukeus Maximus.

12 Comments:

Blogger Sara said...

Sorry to hear about the constant nausea. Hopefully you will soon be munching happily on everything (healthy) in sight.

I like that the puking is a little "hi howdy" from Cricket. The kid is making his/her presence known, that's for sure!!

7:31 PM  
Blogger J said...

uhm. Interesting story, Katie...

Though I am still stuck on the part where you tell us that the bathrooms outnumber people in your house two to one (and a third.)

That's the kind of luxury I can only dream about!

9:50 PM  
Blogger SaraS-P said...

Such a nuisance, but such a strong sign that Cricket is doing well! I never made it as far 13 weeks (congrats!), but I hear that it should ease up soon. Hope it does!

10:29 PM  
Anonymous LisaK said...

As I recall the puking stopped about week 14, maybe as late as week 16 (it's been 7+ years). With my second pregnancy it was literally night and day. We went to German Park and everything that would have made me absolutely nauseous (basically all of the German food served except spaetzel) the day before was making me HUNGRY--roaring hungry. My partner said, "Honey are you feeling better?" when she saw my plate. Until that point in both my pregnancies I could not tolerate the smell of garlic, onions, chicken, or any other smelly smells, even mint. This resulted in almost no home cooking. I had the worst time trying to decide what to eat--since so few things were appealing. Steak and baked potatoes were a pretty sure bet, though, but not cooked at home because of the SMELL, so we had quite a few dinners at Lone Star (no longer in town :( ). Our OB/GYN told us not to worry about what I ate the first trimester as long as I was taking the prenatal. She said starchy stuff is what many women can tolerate, which I found to be true, for the most part.

The puking in every bathroom in town is great preparation for the peeing in every bathroom in town you'll have to do soon, which is great preparation for toddler toilet training. Soon you will know all the potty's in Washt. Co.

12:51 PM  
Blogger PortLairge said...

I hope you feel better soon.I have to say the "full irsh" made my tummy do a little turn and I didn't really have too much nausea. Now at 30 weeks I have found my first aversion to something I normally love!!

3:16 PM  
Blogger Career Guy said...

With Kathy it was always smells. Everything smelled. With child number one all she ate was mac and cheese. Child number two it was peaches. With number three, she couldn't eat anything. Walking into the grocery store, she was assaulted by smells that just killed her appetite. As for you, how nice to be normal.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Em's midwife told her to eat anything that sounded good. If she wanted _insert name of nasty fast food here_, then she should have it. Calories are all that matter at this point.

And I would totally take one of your bathrooms.

10:41 PM  
Blogger lagiulia said...

Congrats on your pregnancy! I have 9 mo. old twins. I had trouble with vomiting and nausea my whole pregnancy. NOT that that's what will happen to you. It's very unusual, and with twins there are extra hormones, yada yada. What I did want to suggest is eating whatever you want (except for unsafe foods), because it's just important you keep up your strength for now. I was told, when I was pg, that the fetus will take what he or she needs from your body, and you will be the one to go without stuff like calcium or vitamins if there is not enough. And while that's not great, you will be okay. So do the best you can, and hopefully it will pass soon. I'll be thinking of you!

4:29 PM  
Blogger hd said...

Ditto what Brooke said--you eat what you can eat when you can eat it. There will be time enough for healthy later. I saw my nausea (I only barfed once) as a green flag that all was well; same for the heartburn and indigestion. Now both of those things are gone and I feel great. I tell ya, it kind of freaks me out. ;o)

7:58 PM  
Blogger Patti said...

I know I shouldn't laugh, because it really isn't funny.

However...

You write so brilliantly, you had me nearly choking on my popcorn.

Let us know when the puking's over and the joy of food returns!

8:12 PM  
Blogger Nico said...

well hello, pukeus. I do hope that your purging ends soon!

11:53 AM  
Blogger Estelle said...

Oh gosh... Jean was one giant puke festival when she was pregnant, for about 4 months. After that, things were fine.
I also keep a bar of soap handy to sniff when BMW is cooking something foul... good tactic!

3:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home