Thursday, November 17, 2005

Now What?

I don't really know what to do with myself here at the blog after the frenzied baby making posts. It's not that we're not busy or doing interesting things, I just somehow feel empty of posts partially because of my empty uterus. Having the period was harder than I thought it would be-- just made it more real, I suppose. Once in awhile, I have had moments of exasperation thinking about how we have to start all over from the beginning. No embryos frozen, so we're back at square one. All those shots. I hate thinking of Partner having that retrieval-- it seems awful. But now we're old hands, so maybe it will be better? Someone tell me it will be better. For now, we're both back on the pill and experience all the wonderful side effects associated with that little devil tablet.

As for my hives. Uhg. I went to the dermatologist who verified to me that they really were horrible and she immediately gave me a prescription for a Prednisone, a steroid. She was more than concerned it had already developed into cellulitis since it was so warm and it actually hurt me too. Some of my hives looked like bruises, literally black and blue, and it was not the injection site. I got a 'script for Keflex also, but the prednisone seems to working, so I am not taking that right now. All I can say is that these pills suck, but seem to be helping. I am still red, but now after six days on the meds, I am not a giant itch. And there is no more heat emanating from my hips. Although it has recently turned bitter-ass cold here in Michigan, and I find myself slightly nostalgic for the heat source. It's a bitter pill to swallow. Not metaphorically, literally. Even if I have the pills in my mouth for 1/10th of a second, the bitterness is overwhelming. I was really really concerned about nausea, but so far, none. If I forget and take them too late, I will not sleep. For example, two nights ago I forgot and consequently woke up every time the wind hit the house. Our electricity went out about two in the morning, and I woke up from hearing the sound of the power powering down. That's some light sleep, folks.

The dermatologist wants me to see an allergist just to be sure it's the sesame, and not the progesterone. I don't even want to think about what it would mean to be allergic to the progesterone. It's highly unlikely since my own body produces the hormone, but apparently some people are allergic to estrogen, even when their own bodies produce it. The ramifications of this allergy coupled with fertility treatment: well, let's just let that bridge loom in the foggy distance for now.

She also conjectured that the hives may come back even after I stop my dose of prednisone since that oil doesn't move anywhere fast. I wish there was a way to get it moving. Don't you think this is an excuse of hot baths and multiple massages? I certainly do, and if I was a smarter woman, I would have agitated for this more when the symptoms were the most severe.


Anonymous Manuela said...

JEEEZ! I'm hurting just thinking about your hives.... you poor poor thing! I hope it all gets sorted out soon!

And yah... to answer your question... I did poke myself! No biggy... I actually enjoy it. Makes me feel all empowered and shit.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Yes, definitely baths and massages with Manhattans. And yes, the 1st retrieval is always the worst because of the fear of the unknown.

2:56 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

I do hope you continue to post, though. Even though this is a low time and a lull in the action of sorts, I'm still interested to know how you're doing and what your upcoming plans will be. Of course, you should do what works for you. But when you post, it gives us yet another chance to let you know that we're thinking of you guys, and we care.

8:46 PM  

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