Wednesday, November 02, 2005



I could have just waited until tomorrow when the esteemed and busy RE office will draw my blood up into a little vial and send it off to a lab. They'll call me around 4:00 and tell me some news that will stop the echo in my head that goes am i aren't i am i aren't i am i aren't i am i aren' ti?

Today marks one week since transfer, so we know it's early. That digital readout doesn't leave much room for questioning, does it? Even when we took the stick out of the reader, it wasn't even vague.

I really would like to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. What stupid thing we did today. And I can't even cry. Because maybe it's all wrong and tomorrow I'll be elated and this will all be a distant memory.

As Linda Ellerbee used to say, "And so it goes."

22 Comments:

Blogger Firefly said...

Oh Katie, I can't even imagine how hard this must be to go through, I would have done the test as well. I wish I could give you wise advice, but all I can do is pray that things go the way they should(remember how the follicles rallied at the last minute?). Don't lose hope, it isn't over until Dr. BB's nurse sings!

10:16 AM  
Blogger Trista said...

We didn't get an HPT to read pregnant for us until we were nearly half-way through the first trimester. Yes, I made her keep peeing on them. I wanted to see it dammit! It was only the blood test that told us we were pregnant.

I still have my fingers crossed for you.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous pixi said...

I hope that HPT was lying. And for sure, early tests can and do. I've done early tests in the past (because I couldn't wait, either) that said that I wasn't when I was. The thought of you guys looking at that readout just crushes me, though. I pray that you get the desired result from tomorrow's test.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Step away from the peesticks! Bad, bad!

1:25 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Peesticks are the devil! The DEVIL I tell you! They mess with everyone's heads! We were 5 weeks when I peed on a stick and the line was so faint I thought that was a negative. And that was at 5 weeks! Ignore the peesticks - they all suck. You won't know anything until they puncture your vein and give you a number.

I'm still hoping and praying for a great big positive. I really hope this works for you guys. Best wishes to you!!!! (Thumbs crossed! & musch love sent!)

1:28 PM  
Blogger Emilin said...

I should tell you that in my great analyzing of Fertility Friend's chart database, I found one chart who had a negative beta after 12 dpo but a positive beta at 18 dpo or something similar.

Seriously, there's still hope. We're keeping our fingers crossed.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

The dreaded early pregancy test lures another one in. i'm so sorry for your disappointment. We did that several times, and then had to deal with the 'maybe in a few days' mindset. It's extremely hard, but if you pick a day (best AFTER you should've started your period) to test and stick with it, you'll save yourself some frustration. We are wishing you the BEST results. :)

3:34 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I'm sorry hon :( *hugs*

5:13 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Oh, sweeties, hugs and courage to you both. I *hate* the digital ones and their smug certainty (even when they are wrong).

Here's to a big fat number tomorrow!

5:14 PM  
Blogger NMsurrogate said...

Oh, those digitals are overly smug and very conservative. The Republicans of the hpt world. Leave them on the shelf. If you must test, use a cheapy. Or wait until the real deal from the lab! I came across your journal and now I am hoping for you too!

5:30 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Aww, man. Testing too early is such an evil trap. I snuck in a test at 9DPO and it was -. Tested again at 15DPO and tada, +.

Hang in there, wait for the blood test.

6:01 PM  
Blogger chris said...

The digital ones are especially evil. Hang in there. I'll be tinking of you tomorrow.

7:30 PM  
Blogger LilySea said...

Like you said, it's early...

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Sareesa said...

It's still too early to say. There is still hope. Don't worry. We tested on a Friday and it was negative, and then on Sunday it was positive. Try to stay positive. Sorry it's so hard, I feel for you!

8:53 PM  
Blogger Nico said...

Oh, I am hoping SO hard that your blood work tomorrow shows that this test is a piece of crap. !!!

10:53 PM  
Blogger amyesq said...

Please don't listen to that peestick. I think it is way too early for the digital kind. I will be very much thinking of you and praying for you and your Irish Catholic genes tomorrow.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Lynnette said...

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you today.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Mrs. K said...

While pregnant with my son, I first EPT test I took was negitive...even though I was really pregnant. Give it a few days...it'll turn!

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Manuela said...

I know that you know that it's too early... but I ALSO know how it's damn near impossible to stay away from the damn things. I liken it to Gollum and his 'preeesssshhhusss'.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Hahaha! My preeeecccioouss! That's just how they talked to me!! Super!

And you guys make me sane. Thank you.

1:03 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Just checking in; I so hope that all goes well today. We're right behind you!

2:09 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

Yes, same here. Thinking of you guys and hoping for good news.

3:58 PM  

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