Monday, October 24, 2005

Proverbial Cart Before Proverbial Horse

I know I am not pregnant. I know there are considerable odds that I won't be pregnant even after tomorrow, but the thing is-- I want to know stuff. Stuff about pregnancy. And since I am a reader, I think immediately of finding stuff out by reading books. So, off to Borders we went. I looked at a lot of books, and yes, I have already been counselled that I should avoid What to Expect...

I want some pregnancy books not designed to scare the shit out of me. Is that so much to ask?

I bought the Deepak Chopra book and I've read the introduction. So far, so good.

Are there any other non-scare-tactic books out there that anyone can recommend?


Blogger lawryde said...

Why don't u adopt? There are 1,000's of children who need love.

4:44 PM  
Blogger ~cj~ said...

You know I think the "what to expect" books have been pretty good for pregnancy. It really gave me a lot of information month by month - and it was something I used as a base to ask questions about when I was pregnant at my monthly visits. I also had been given a huge book by my OB's office about pregnancy. I think the best place to start would be asking the OB they will have a lot of good information for you. (at least mine did)

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Good lord here we go with the adoption comments. Did you know lawryde's wife is currently expecting? Wonder why HE didn't adopt.

I didn't mind the what to expect books, but I did skip stuff that related to complications. My biggest problems was their "advice" that said don't do something bad, but if you all ready did, it's ok. Like smoking crack. Seriously.

6:24 PM  
Anonymous RachelH said...

Oh for crap's sake (to the first comment)...I always liked "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" by Glade Curtis because it is written by a doctor and gives weekly updates on the baby's development (it has sidebar hints called "Dad tips" and you may find that irritating, but I for one say make a word substitution and go on enjoying the book). I also enjoyed the "Girlfriends' Guide;" while Vicki Iovine can be a little annoying here and there I had a few good belly laughs and learned some stuff along the way. My OB also gave me a big book, but it was pretty dry reading.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Oh Jenn, you've just made me feel much better about that stupid first comment. My initial reaction was that I can't adopt! Ironically it's much easier for us to have a baby the way we are than try to adopt a kid. (HELLO? WE'RE GAY?! Know much about the current political climate?) And the horrible sick thing is that we will indeed have to adopt our own child someday if we both want to be legal parents.

We have the What to Expect book-- I just have a few friends who told me it was pretty medically orientated. I'll read it still-- I just want some alternative viewpoints too.

When I looked through the pregnancy books at Borders yesterday, so many of them had a section on how one needed to stop doing cocaine. (!!)

6:30 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Rachel-- we must have been posting at the same exact time.

I wanted to add an aside-- I said it was much easier for us to have a baby this way than adopt, which might not be technically true. But FOR US it was easier. How's that to qualify...?

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Lynnette said...

Oh Katie! You have a troll! Congratulations! Anyway, you sound like me, with the book buying. I don't remember "Pregnancy and Birth: Your Questions Answered," by Karina Reynolds, Christopher Lees and Grainne McCartan, or "Your Pregnancy Week by Week," by Glade Curtis being especially scary. And the first one has great photos and charts. I also like Vicki Iovine's books. Of course, I can't really tell how accurate any of them are. Oh, and it IS a Frank Betz plan. Are you sure Partner can't come down and build it for us? :-)

8:21 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

I was much more into web sites than books when I was pregnant. I few that I loved:

Pregnancy and Parenting (iVillage)


The Multi-Dimensional Human Embryo

The last two give very life-like, detailed images of the various stages of embryonic development. I liked to look at them, so I could learn about and imagine what was happening inside me.

9:36 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

::trying really hard to ignore troll::

I currently *LOVE* Sheila Kitzinger's The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth. It has information on development but it also has a holistic approach to pregnancy and childbirth. While she's more inclined to natural childbirth she is not against medical interventions and presents both. And the photos and diagrams are WONDERFUL.

I did not particularly like or hate What to Expect. I didn't really like the Girlfriends' Guide. It's extraordinarily heterosexist (which I know is a weird criticism of a pregnancy book, but it IS).


9:48 PM  
Blogger eryn said...

I've read a bunch about pregnancy and birthing and am pretty anti medicalization of birth.

I am currently reading Birthing From Within, written by Pam England & her husband Rob Horowitz. She is a midwife. It is an amazing book and came HIGHLY recommended by a friend who read it while pregnant. I also highly recommend it. I do have a borrowed copy of What to Expect and have found it semi informative, but also have heard the critiques. I take what I want from it and leave the rest.

Another great on is Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. It's more a compilation of birthing stories, but is VERY empowering.

10:08 PM  
Anonymous RachelH said...

OH YEAH--good luck tomorrow! Sorry if my two suggestions were "heterosexist." Regarding the Girlfriend's Guide--Vicki Iovine IS a tool and I apologize wholeheartedly, but for someone who teaches literature I have remarkably lowbrow taste in my own recreational reading and you should feel free to ignore me. Back to the whole baby thing though; I for one was thinking about it, and legalities of both being official parents aside, I think it's awesome that the two of you are going about building a family this way. I mean, you'll actually be carrying your partner's child (something we heteros tend to take more or less for granted, and something that wouldn't have been possible a generation ago). VERY cool. I'll be refreshing madly looking for updates, and walking around with everything crossed.

10:54 PM  
Blogger mermaidgrrrl said...

Anything by Sheila Kitzinger or carrying her endorsement is going to be great. She's a fantastic old earth mother godess! Can I be annoying and post my current reading list?
"The Rhythm Of Life" by Gaia Grant
"Parenting By Heart" by Pinky McKay
"Birth Your Way" by Sheila Kitzinger
"New Active Birth" by Janet Balaskas

And lawryde is indeed a moron. I love the way that there's a segment of straight people who automatically assume the right is theirs to reproduce at will, but we have to be all-sacrificing for children that other straight people have had who now don't want them. For HIS information, my partner and I would dearly love to adopt from South Africa or Cambodia but it's been specifically forbidden by our government. Apparently children prefer to be AIDS orphans or walk on land mines than be raised by dykes.

5:47 AM  
Blogger Yvette said...

Best of luck to you. I really used the "what to expect" book because I managed to be pregnant and not know until I went to the er and delivered and I needed some fast, easy to read knowledge. It was ironic and a joke among my family that I should read that book since I didn't even know I was expecting. Anyway the angel babe is almost 1 year and I will be buying What to expect the toddler years. It's not that it has so much good info its the questions that I enjoyed. Sometimes I am embarassed to ask questions at the pediatricians and they would be answered in the book. By the way, have you thought about pediatricians? That is a big decision. My pediatrician is a gay man and he rocks. He understands the "alternative" lifestyle and is focused on the holistic development of a child. Now I am straight but I appreciate that kind of open minded thinking and plan to teach the angel babe to appreciate and understand and respect all people and thier choices. Btw, I have always been infertile and so when I did become pregnant I didn't realize it because I was so convinced I couldn't have a baby. Long story, amazing ending. Best of luck to you. Wishing you and yours much happiness and a glorious life.

1:59 PM  
Blogger AltMama said...

Hey there! I know I've been dodging the blogosphere lately, but wanted to say hello and GOOD LUCK!

also, you asked about books so of course I had to peep up. I spent a whole afternoon back in January looking through all the pregnancy book at Women and Children First, Chicago's very awesome feminist bookstore. The Sheila Katzinger book was the best I found too (and although it's sometimes hetero, there are lots of photos of two women together).

One thing, though--this book is more about labor/post-labor than pregnancy itself. I'm still looking for a good pregnancy-itself book...I can't get past the cover of the "what to expect" books. That little rocking chair-bad hair-bad sweater lady just...irks me. :)

Also! If you haven't you must read Anne Lamott's book _Operating Instructions_ (and everything else she's written, too). _Waiting for Birdy_, by Catherine Newman (I think) is good too, though trying a little too hard to imitate Lamott.

okay, that's all. goodluckgoodluckgoodluck!!!!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Nico said...

Nothing to add on the books - to afraid to look before I'm there...

But wanted to wish you loads of luck for the transfer!!!

4:16 PM  
Blogger Emilin said...

I'm another Kitzinger fan, but if you read the fourth edition of the Complete Book, ignore the stuff about measuring your upper thighs in order not to gain too much superfluous weight. That part can kiss my slowly-inflating ass.

Also: I think the What to Expect series is a bunch of crap.


7:23 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Hey, RachelH, I wasn't directing the "heterosexist" thing at you - just at the book (Girlfriends' Guide) . My dismissal of it was too brief. The longer version is this: I enjoyed some of the realism and humor in it, but so much of it was NOT ME - worrying about appearance and clothes and stuff that just doesn't make my priority list. And the heterosexist thing was just another piece of it. But most pregnancy related books DO assume a straight, if not also married, readership. This one was just egregious in a way I can't put my finger on, having long ago ditched my copy of it.

4:23 PM  

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