Thursday, April 21, 2005

Five Things To Avoid in Fragile Mood

  1. Do not wake up from dreamy sleep about having loving, "baby-making: sex with tender good looking young man. Try not to remember that in this dream you were also younger and thinner, and generally more good looking yourself. If you choose to tell your partner about this, ignore the brief look of panic on her face. If you register brief look of panic, make sure you reassure her about the fact that you love her dearly and will not be leaving her for a man any time soon [which really is really true] all the while thinking of that dream still. This will make you feel like shit. So, I would recommend not doing any of it.
  2. Do not think of your dad, whom you love very much, home alone while your mom is in South Carolina. You will tell yourself that it's okay because he just got home from being in SC himself, and he's probably loving working like a madman around the house and at work, but you feel that should call him and ask him if he'd like to go to dinner anyway, but then you feel like, oh shit, what will I talk to him about if I do that? And then you'll burst into tears because you love your dad so much, but haven't known how to really talk to him since you and he stopped flying kites together at seven when you got a new brother (your first sibling) and he started his residency to provide a good income to make a nice childhood for you, but oh how the tears come because, by God, you just wish you could go fly a kite and hold his hand and just talk to him about real stuff, not politics and religion and shit like that. Cry more when you blog about this. This will make you feel like shit, so again, my recommendation is to refrain from said activity.
  3. Whatever you do, do not sit on your back deck in the bright glorious sunshine and discuss the landscaping bid and brick paver patio and trainload of fill it will take to regrade weedy back yard. Don't you dare think about how when the landscapers come to kill the weeds that much of the taller grass at the back of your lot will be killed-- this will force you to think about the deer you see daily back there and you will worry about where they will sleep once your yard is landscaped with the same precision as your anal neighbors, who have already inquired more than once about when you are getting grass (!!) reminding you ever-so subtly that you are indeed the Beverly Hillbillies of your nice upscale place you live you increasingly feel like you cannot afford. You can remind yourself landscaper said weed killer would not poison any deer or rabbits, but you'll remember, of course, you didn't really believe him. At this point it would be helpful to not recall any single part of Watership Down, but still you think how scary the hrududu will be to rabbits. You'll feel like shit on a number levels here, one level of such shit is that you are such a fantastic sap on top of everything else . Again, avoid.
  4. BY NO MEANS should you drink three cups of coffee and eat two pieces of sugar and cinnamon Native American fry bread a student brought to class yesterday. This will only make you a jumpy fragile shitty feeling person who will yell at her cats for merely shedding.
  5. Do not talk to your Partner about how when you start working for her company doing the billing, you will probably not get paid for at least six months. Her explanation of how this is the way it is in entrepreneurial business, especially that of home building, will still sound shitty to you and you will wonder if you can really work for six months without getting paid a dime even if there is a big payoff in the end because you start to think you really are base, like a horse with a carrot dangled in front of it and you are working merely for money and that's pathetic and shit, when did you become so materialistic? The result of thinking like this will make you think you should sell everything and go join the Peace Corps or the Missionaries of Charity and work for the justice you so firmly believe there should be in the world, but what are doing about it in your non-landscaped house in an upscale neighborhood in Ann Arbor obsessing about not being paid for six months? More shit. Either go back to bed and try to start again, or engage in escapism by picking up really depressing book you are currently reading. All of these things, I would firmly recommend you do not do if you are in a fragile mood on a Thursday morning.


Blogger Firefly said...

here's a partial list of the playlist:

and an article about it:

Happy reading!

3:14 PM  
Blogger WordsRock said...

"Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow....."

Here's hoping tomorrow is a more rugged day.

PS: Watership Down! Thanks for the memory. :)

11:09 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Thanks guys-- and yes, today was definitely more rugged and I was definitely back to myself today. No more fragile WannaBeMom--I'm solid, solid as a rock.

3:56 PM  

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