Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Canceled Before It Even Started

We may have more sperm than we know what to do with, but we apparently don't have a cycle.

Next Wednesday, one week from today, would be day 18, and you know what day 18 means: a giant shot of depot-Lupron!

After all the follow-up appointments after IVF failure number one, we were advised to let Partner's little ovaries rest a little. Start taking the birth control pills again, and call when we started pill pack #2. That was last week. Like an obedient student, I called the office and asked for our nurse's voicemail. I didn't get her usual message, but instead a more generic voicemail saying that I'd reached the voicemail for the nurses, so I left a message for our nurse, but we never got a phone call back. I blamed this on reception-- why didn't they just send me to the personal voicemail for our nurse? We must have gotten lost in some paper shuffle.

Yet this bothered me just a tad, especially since she said for our next cycle she'd order the drugs for us from Freedom Drug, which might be just a little cheaper than our local pharmacy even with our drug plan. And when someone says "cheaper" associated with our IVF cycle, I'm all for it. Also, if next week is day 18, shouldn't we be getting a calendar? Some drugs in the mail? I called this week again, and instead of asking for our nurse's voicemail, I asked if she was "in." Reception said to me, "Let me just transfer you back to the nurse's station," whereupon the phone rang and rang and rang and finally went to the generic voicemail again. I left a slightly more snotty message, and reminded our nurse that she said she'd order our drugs, and someone should really call us back.

And someone did-- just not our nurse. Some nurse who knows nothing about cycle. And I had to tell her and update her on everything. She said, yes, we'll get the Lupron. And yes, we'll start next week, and she said this based on my word, not because she was looking at any type of chart or anything, and she was ready to hang up the phone when I said, wait-- we're going to be out of town from the 12-17, and can we still do the cycle? And she said, let me look. And then she said, no.

No cycling this month.


Postponed. One more month of pills.

Then I asked where our nurse was. She's gone from the clinic. That's all I got. And I feel bereft and lost. I knew we were starting over from scratch, but now I really feel we're back at the beginning, forging new relationships with new nurses when we already had a fairly nice relationship with our old nurse, and that was comforting. The two remaining nurses are nice enough, but one of them never could find Partner's ovary, and acted like it wasn't even there and it made us nervous and cost us more since she would make us come back for the doctor to do the ultrasound, and now she's going to be one of our nurses?

I just feel like there has to be a way for us to not have to wait until 25 January to start again. Couldn't we just skip the next period with the pill pack and take the Lupron right before our trip? I just think there has to be more of an answer than plain old NO.

Many sperm. No cycle. How do you like them bananas?


Blogger Nico said...

Me thinks them bananas be rotten!

As far as starting on the second pill pack, I know that my clinic doesn't want you to be on bcp for more than 28 days prior to an IVF cycle. I assume that's because it'll suppress you too much, although that's just a guess.


Is there any way you can change the 12-17 shindig? 'cause that does look like it will be right in the middle of stimming / retrieval, if you were to do the lupron on 12/28.

I can't believe that they didn't tell you, when you called and asked for your nurse, that she had left. What the hell is up with that? Giving you the runaround like they did is definitely not cool. They obviously have NO CLUE how stressful this all is without adding their BS on top of it.

It completely sucks when you're expecting to cycle, and then told last minute that you can't. I'm so sorry!

1:42 PM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Fuckity-fuck!!! I cannot believe your last 2 posts. Who have you upset in the way of karma? Aaargh. I am sure hoping something can be worked out for the sake of your and Partner's and my sanity.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

I've worried about being on the bcp, but our clinic wants to "control" us through them, so... I'll give it one more try before asking more about it.

We can't change the dates because those are the dates of the NAHB (National Association of Home Builders) International Show! We thought about not going this year, but then we decided we were too excited about it to not attend. I guess this is our break. Pft.

I am still annoyed no one told us about the nurse and just glossed over it.

2:04 PM  
Blogger J said...

That totally (I hate that word, but applicable here.)

The only thing that keeps us at our RE's office is our nurse, who we love. I can't imagine her not being there one day...especially without giving us some notice.

Good luck with trying to sort it all out.

2:11 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

I agree with Nico - completely rotten. I can only imagine how frustrated you must be. Waiting is miserable. And it is terribly upsetting to lose the nurse who you trusted the most. So sorry you were double slammed just when you were starting to get excited again. That just sucks out loud.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I was on BCP for three months before our cycle and I was a fairly poor responder for IUIs, but luckily oversuppression wasn't an issue.

Can't they just add an extra week or two of pills instead of a entire pack?

8:47 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Ugh! I'm so sorry you're having MORE crap.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous mamacate said...

Okay, so here's where you learn the IVF vet routine. Nurses come and go, the person who knows your entire story one day completely forgets to call you the next...don't even think twice about calling them back, asking questions assertively and politely demanding answers, and if you feel like their slow movement is messing you up, then it probably is. They won't fix that unless you make them.

This is one of the toughest things about multiple IVFs, IMO--you're going through so much crap, and on top of THAT, you have to keep track of details that are someone else's job, and double-check everything? But the fact is, you do. I could tell you stories, and that's from two different clinics, and from many friends at many other clinics.

Also, never give a nurse the opportunity to delay your cycle. Because she will.

So here's what you do. You call your DOCTOR, NOW (like, this morning), and very nicely and politely demand that he talk to you. Tell him you seem to have falled through the cracks with nurse X leaving, and that you've been told you can't cycle next month and that you'd like to discuss whether this is a) accurate (because you know how it is when people leave, and you're not sure that a thorough review of your case has been done, etc.). Tell him you don't want to wait and you would like him to consider the options.

It's a bit of a tightrope to be firm and demanding, but nice and respectful, but it's the very best way. You really get the nurses' (and doctors') respect that way, and in the end, that's the way they pay attention.

Good luck. We're rooting for you.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous mamacate said...

Oh my god, am I illiterate? FALLEN through the cracks.

Sorry about that. Good luck. Back to remedial English class with me. :)

10:29 AM  
Anonymous MFA Mama said...

Wow. That's really rotten. D'you think there's any way you could coordinate with an out-of-town clinic or hospital to maybe handle you while you're on the trip?

1:57 PM  
Blogger Soul Searching said...

that's so crappy! I think mamacate's plan sounds like a good one. Give 'em hell (in a nice way, of course) :)

3:53 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

What???? That's terrible. Tons of sperm and nothing to do with it? Unbelievable!

I agree with Mamacate about talking to your doctor about the situation. At least he or she will know your side of things.

9:34 PM  

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