Tuesday, December 20, 2005

2005's Hottest Christmas Present: Sperm!

Apparently the most coveted present for Christmas this year is our sperm donor. We have 7 vials in residence at the cryobank, one in residence at the IVF clinic for the grand total of 8 vials of sperm. We called a month ago to order more, but our donor was gone-- long gone. Very popular. (We knew he was good when we found him.) But the CCB told us when he'd be available again and advised us to call then. We thought that day was yesterday and and rang them up whereupon we were told that the big was tomorrow (today), and it was the last ever release of this particular guy's goo. Call at 8:00 California time, we were told.This put the fire under our respective asses, because sometimes Partner and I are a little relaxed about things. Eventually, usually, what needs to get done gets done, but sometimes, just sometimes, we could move a little faster. (NB: this never applies to Partner when it comes to business where she is one of the most capable and fast moving people I know.)

So, the sperm source runs out today. Why, you might wonder, do we need more sperm when we already own eight vials of the sperm? Well, consider our quandary: We'd really like all children we have, whether from my eggs or Partner's eggs, to have the same donor. Last cycle, Dr. BusyBusyBusy used only one vial of sperm, but requested two. Apparently sometimes the clinic will choose to use two vials, but since the clinic does ICSI, I assume that using two vials doesn't happen much, but let's just say it does this next time. Down to six vials. And let's just propose against hope here for one minute that the next cycle does not work either and we have to try again, and let's be conservative this time, and say Dr. BBB uses only one vial, but that leaves us at five. Bang! Five vials left for my eggs-- I'm pretty sure that in an IUI cycle with frozen sperm, the doc is going to want to use more than one vial per try.. but that leaves about two IUI cycles, with one tiny little vial left over. And that doesn't account for using more than one vial in each of our IVF cycles. Or that one sample might be sub-par. Or any number of things I can worry about being wrong with the sperm might be wrong with it.

(I'm on the phone right now with the CCB begging for them to release more to us immediately, but he hasn't been re-released yet! Blogging while begging for more sperm-- has to be a first.)

This morning when we called the CCB (promptly at 8:00 am, California time), we were told there was a fairly long waiting list for this particular donor. That the phone was ringing every three minutes with a new request for him. And finally, we were told that people who had mailed their requests were ahead of us in the queue. What?! We didn't know we could mail a request in and get on a waiting list! In fact, every time we asked about our guy, we were told we could not pre-purchase to hold our place. Needless to say, this was very upsetting. Here, however, I think it's important to note that everyone we talk to at the CCB is very nice and friendly, and I think they are well aware that they are dealing with a sensitive subject.

Our rep this morning told us we should call back often, maybe every ten minutes, because the release could happen at any time. Partner had her 11:00 meeting waiting, next to her desk, at our conference table and handed the task over to me, hence, why I am on the phone right now with the bank, waiting... waiting... Oh-- hold the horses-- here's the rep:

He hasn't been released yet. And yes, I am informed, many many people want this particular donor. What's our number? Name? Mother's maiden name? Hold on for one moment please...

I'm so nervous-- we really want/need more of our donor. It's one thing about lesbian conception, folks, we need the sperm from someplace, and it's most likely not located in our houses or sleeping next to us. And as silly as the "just relax" advice is when we're trying to conceive, a limited supply of the donor is going to do nothing to induce my repose about the whole process.

Holding still.

We talked about this last night at length. We've agreed: three IVF cycles using Partner's eggs and my uterus. Of course we both agree to talk after each cycle, and if she wants to go for four cycles if three fail (ohgodohgodohgodpleasedon'tletthathappenagain), I'm open (right now) for doing that. When we go back to my own eggs, we'll do IUI, and Partner thought we should try six IUI cycles before moving to IVF for me. I disagreed; I'm not sure I could take six failed IUI cycles before moving on, but it's all speculation. I just don't want to worry about sperm. Why am I still holding?

Hi, your donor has just been released, and your name was on the list, so you're alright. I don't know if you were told earlier, but we have a December special: buy six and get 10% off. So, how many vials would you like to order?

Do I have to tell you I feel like I've just won the lottery. We are know the proud owners of fourteen, count'em up, fourteen vials of sperm. Who would've thought?

Merry Christmas to us.
(Small update on this subject: Our donor is officially gone.)


Blogger LilySea said...

"December Special"

How weird is the whole sperm-peddling industry anyway?

Weird, I tell you!!!!!

12:33 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

We laughed and laughed at that! It's too weird. But it's our super weird life... Sometimes I think how strange things have become. I just ordered sperm on the phone.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Firefly said...

Too funny!

Do you think the poor guy can walk? I can just see them locking him in a room and waiting outside the door while he completes the "release". He has a quota to fill and I am sure he is exhausted. Here's to December specials and perseverence!

Go Girls!

P.S. Wedding pictures are finally up on my site.

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

Horray sperm!

But I'm laughing that you got it on sale and at the image of the guy trying to fill his quota. Must be doing wonders for his self-esteem.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Hooray! I'm glad you were able to get it, and on "special", too. What a frustrating morning that must have been.

If for some reason, you do end up going through your vials at a phenomenal rate, I did just want to say that IUI with a single vial can be successful (it's the standard protocol at my RE's unless the counts are total crap). Both of my pregnancies have come from single shot IUIs. The months we used more than one vial (whether doubled up, IVI/IUI combo or two IUIs) never amounted to bupkus. So if you want to stretch things out at some point, you could just tell BusyBusyBusy, look, we only want you to use one vial. FWIW.

3:41 PM  
Blogger Trista said...

Congratulations on getting your goo. Can you sell it back once you've had all the children you want if you still have some left?

3:52 PM  
Blogger Banou said...

Like on eBay? :)

4:56 PM  
Blogger Nico said...

Too funny! Instead of dialing for dollars, you were dialing for sperm!

14 vials sounds like an excellent stock. You must be relieved to at least have that in the bag, so to speak;-)

8:13 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

That's a hoot that they had a special. I'm so glad you were able to get more; I totally agree about your children all having the same donor sperm. It looks like it will be a White Christmas after all!

9:38 AM  
Blogger Firefly said...

I hope I am not the only one who read "White Christmas" and laughed, but maybe I am just a sicko....

12:04 PM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Oh no, I laughed really hard at White Christmas.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My clinic moves everyone to IVF aftger 3 IUI cycles haven't worked. I couldn't go through 6 of them.
Good luck.

2:17 AM  
Blogger frog said...

Ebay! lmao

I'm still laughing about this, days after reading it...

11:29 AM  
Blogger I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

This is fascinating and must be so frustrating for you both! Argh!

I had a client--a single woman--who chose to birth with a sperm donor through a cryobank, etc. It was an amazing process. She was pregnant on the first try!

(Then--and I kid you not--she won the lottery not long after the baby was born. 7 or 8 million, as I recall. Hmmmm...perhaps if you choose the correct donor...?!?!)


10:11 PM  

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