Thursday, December 15, 2005

Attention Student

Don't lie to me and tell me an A- is going to ruin your GPA. Because then I will have wild conversations with myself regarding your grade. I'll think I shouldn't give you that A- because I might be ruining your perfect 4.0, and a perfect 4.0 is such a wonderful thing and you'd always resent the teacher who made you go to a 3.921 (because I still resent the professor who did that to me, so I know).

I'll wake up at night and think about it. I'll have these see-sawing thoughts, where I vascillate between blaming you-- you should have been there to take all the quizzes if you were that serious about getting an A-- and blaming myself-- maybe I was grading you too harshly on that final paper, after all your topic was really original, and better written than the majority of papers I got.

But then I'll remember I can see your transcript, something I don't necessarily think is quite ethical because you should be judged on your performance in my class and I shouldn't let past performance influence any decision making, so I never look at student transcripts, but now, after telling me I'll ruin your GPA if I give you an A-, I can't stop my fingers from typing in your name and finding out that you're lying, and it's not a little white lie, it's fierce lie, which really makes me want to fail you, but instead I wearily will give the A-, because you did actually work hard in my class and that's the grade you earned...A-.

Just stop emailing me now.

6 Comments:

Anonymous MFA Mama said...

Ugh. That part of teaching I do NOT miss!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Trista said...

You mean something like that might actually have worked had I tried it? I mean, I really did have a very, very high GPA up until a certain person gave me a slightly lower-than-an-a grade. But I never thought to try to guilt her out of it...

DAMN

4:04 PM  
Anonymous CJ said...

I just asked my little sister who also teaches college level courses - if she's had that thought. She laughed and said "This semester I gave out one A, a few b's, a lot of c's, a lot of D's and..... NO. You get what you deserve." *LOL* She can be heartless. But thats why I loves her.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Nico said...

Amazing that people will lie about things that can be so easily refuted! I really don't advocate lying, but if you're going to, at least do it well!!!

5:08 PM  
Blogger Career Guy said...

Yeah--I remember the guy who gave me a B in grad school and ruined my 4.0. I knew what I had to say in a paper to get the A, but I thought it was stupid, so I wouldn't say it. Many years later, he did something very nice for me when I was writing my textbook, so all is forgiven. Kind of.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Ugh, what a tough spot to be in. Way to go for sticking to your guns though--you'll feel much better about it in the long run.

3:28 PM  

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