How We Met: The Conclusion

Okay, so at this point in the story I have returned from the UK, and have set out on yet another adventure: The Pelee Island Rugby 7s tournament. As noted in the previous installment, I knew Cute-Concert-Girl would be at this event since she was involved in planning certain aspects of the tourney. However, in the mean time a team-mate alerted me that she had heard Cute Concert Girl might like a certain red-headed player from a rival team, the team that Cute Concert Girl ostensibly supported. (Uhg-lesbian drama!) This certain red-headed player came to play with our team the night Cute Concert Girl showed up at the rugby pitch. So perhaps there was no Kismet involved at all-- she was just chasing someone else and I was chasing her. After hearing this news, I was determined to play it cool the weekend of the tournament. (You should have read enough by now to know that was a fairly unlikely prospect, not to mention the fact the entire tournament was being held at a winery for God's sake.)

As we were setting up the tent, Cute Concert Girl started across the pitch toward us. Now, pretty much the whole team knew I had a giant crush on her, so as soon as she headed in our direction, everyone alerted me in none too subtle ways. Whatever. I was putting the tent up, and anyway, that red-headed chick was with her too. I tried to act cool. Reserved. And it went like that more or less until mid-afternoon on Saturday when I followed her into the winery under the pretense of needing to pee. We talked for the first real time since I returned from the UK, but I noticed her making some eye contact with someone behind me. I turned to see what was going on. It was probably that red-headed chick. But instead of seeing my arch-nemesis, I saw Cute Concert Girl's sister giving her two thumbs up. Was that about me? I blushed. Cute Concert Girl blushed. We returned, all awkward like, to the tournament.

The day wore on, the teams ate and drank, and she didn't come to talk to me again. (Although now we have a photograph of me that she took that afternoon, unbeknownst to me.) I should tell you, I was pretty drunk that night. At one point I gave my credit card away to a friend and told her to "just get drinks." I woke up the next day and called out to the tents pitched around us, "Does anyone have my credit card?" (Yes. And only two rounds were bought with it.) I do remember dancing with Cute Concert Girl. And then I remember she was suddenly gone. I went outside, it was raining, and she was leaving with the red-headed chick. They got in a car. I stood in the pouring rain and felt one of those drunken bawls coming on. Luckily my crazy friend, Aussie, rescued me by lying down in a puddle in the middle of the road. Jesus. What a night. (I couldn't figure out how to get my flip-flops off at the end of the night. I was pretty far gone.) And I decided that things with this girl were just over.

The next day, we talked more, but I was feeling pretty glum about her. She told me she took red-headed girl home because she was so drunk. Other people verified this story. (And I know it's the truth, especially after red-headed girl joined our team. There was never anything there at all. That's what I got for paying attention to Lesbian Drama.) She did come with a group of us when we went to the beach, but still... I wasn't particularly encouraged. But then again there was that thumbs up incident...

Some of my friends on the team told me they talked to her about me and she seemed interested. This was rather horrifying to me since it sounded like middle school, but okay, we were all pretty drunk. So once the hangover wore off and we were back in the United States, I started emailing her again. I didn't ever hear much back from her. I kept this up for three or four weeks. And then finally I decided I was giving up. For real. This whole chasing a girl thing was wreaking havoc on my self esteem. I didn't want to chase any more. I wanted to be chased. DONE. Through. Finito.

Then, literally, the day after I decided this I got an email that started, "What's up Katie from Detroit?" and then proceeded to explain that I could ignore the email if I wanted since it had been like "two years" since she answered any of my emails and then went on and on about being really busy and that her slow email responses were all about her and not me, and then, bang, she wrote: "So enough guilt driven groveling (-: How about hanging out tomorrow? or Thursday if that's better for you."

FUCK! Fuuuucccckk! Now I know what all these emails from her say since I have saved EVERY SINGLE ONE of them. But not my responses.

I do know what happened-- We couldn't get it together, but my rugby team was playing her rugby team that weekend, and later that evening there was going to be an infamous "Ladies at Katie's" party. At the party after the rugby game, I encouraged her to come to my house. We traded shoes. She was sitting the arm of a couch and tucked her toes under my thigh. I left with her shoes on and hoped she'd show up at my house.

She did.

And in the middle of my living room, the rest of the people disappeared while I danced with her slowly even though the music didn't follow suit. My brother, who was there, looked at one of the guys who was there and said, "I guess my sister is a lesbian, eh?" (Great coming out story there.) I took her upstairs to my room, and we kissed for the first time there. She stayed with me overnight.

Early in the morning she left with her Ann Arbor contingent. I told her to call me later. And she did. The same day. And I asked her to come back to my house and told her I'd make her dinner. I made steamed artichokes with citrus mayonnaise, tangerine tuna, coconut rice, mango salsa... She stayed over again. She likes to say I wooed her with my cooking. I'm not ashamed to admit she might be right.

We went to a concert later that week and I stayed at her house. The next morning I cancelled my classes. She called into work. We ate plums in bed. We only got up in the evening to meet two of her grad school friends for sushi. I stayed over again.

And there began our courtship. It was the most beautiful autumn of my life. We went camping in the woods in late fall. She took me to Chicago for my birthday, as a surprise! I broke my knee and essentially ended my rugby playing days, and she took care of me. We had our first Christmas, we went to Hawai'i (it was a Christmas present from her to me!), and we realized we loved each other very much, and eventually, I moved in with her, and then four years later, almost to the date of our first date, I married her.

And just one more thing: I love this woman in a way I didn't understand until it happened.



I couldn't be more lucky. I think the story proves it.