Thursday, June 22, 2006

Back To Bed

I detest bed rest. It's boring as all get out. I end up watching too much television, and that makes me depressed to boot.

I suppose I'll be your go-to person the World Cup, but my dreams of going to the Commonwealth Club Sunday to eat a full English and root for England (!!) over Ecuador have been dashed. (And okay, Go Aussies while we're at it. Partner and I have actually cried over some Socceroo goals.)

I'm bleeding alright, and the ultrasound proves it. Dr. BusyBusyBusy calls it a retro-chorionic tear. Other stuff on the web refers to it as a subchorionic tear (or hematoma or hemorrhage, but that's damn scary word.) I can't quite figure out why it happens though, and the why is always the question for me. There's a line in Dylan Thomas's A Child's Christmas in Wales that nails it. He's talking about presents and refers to "books that told us everything about wasps, except why."

Dr. BBB's explanation was that this is fairly common in patients who use donor eggs. He estimates up to 50% of donor egg patients will get this. (Donor eggs? Um, they aren't donors, they're PARTNER'S!) His further explanation was that of that 50%, 85% of cases will resolve themselves and 15% of them will result in miscarriage. There's nothing to do, he told me, other than go home, rest, and don't do much of anything until I see him again. This could resolve itself in days or months. Or never. Or whatever. I'll know, he said, if I am miscarrying because there will be "tissue" involved. Fuck. That tissue is Cricket.

And the good news is that Cricket's little heart is still going strong. And good Lord! That Cricket is a-growin'! Two more millimeters since Tuesday, which is right on target. It's a little scary to see the tear, however. The retrochorionic tear is where the chorion separates from the uterine wall. On the ultrasound, you can see the blood pulsing around in there, which leads me to think this bleeding might get much worse before it gets better. Because damnit, it's going to get better. I lost Little Rice, I'm not losing Cricket too.

I just have to continue to take it "easy" until July 2 when we see him again. I'm going to hope that I can visualize healing there so much that it actually happens. (What a hippie-dippie dork I am, but if you want to try and do this too, I won't stop you.) I don't know anything about complications further on the pregnancy, which hopefully is just going to go on and on, and this won't bother it. I don't know if the tear could get bigger. Or if the tear could just go away. (Placenta, heal thyself!) I don't know much, but in some ways, that could be better.

Wait! Did you believe that I could think for a minute that ignorance is bliss? Not on your life. If you're a bettin' person, you could put all your chips down on that at some point this evening I'll be logging on the University of Michigan medical library and doing some searches. If I'm in bed anyway, I might as well continue trying to complete my web-fellowship in reproductive endocrinology.

37 Comments:

Blogger vee said...

Hang on in there, Cricket.
And don't read too much scary stuff on the web!
*tear healing vibes heading to yous*

5:14 PM  
Blogger art-sweet said...

Chirp. Chirp.

That's Cricket's heartbeat for you.

I feel like I've read about a bunch of bloggers who've had these and gotten through okay.

So stay still and let Partner wait on you hand and foot. Do you need books? Videos? Anything we can provide?

5:30 PM  
Blogger amyesq said...

And the part where you can't make Manhattans to calm your nerves kind of sucks. I know, I'll drink the Manhattans to calm your nerves. Just keep saying "the odds are with me for once..."

5:38 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Oh, Katie, my fingers are crossed for you and little Cricket. I agree about letting Partner wait on you hand and foot. I found DVD's of the Sopranos oddly calming during bed rest!

5:48 PM  
Blogger Trista said...

Scary scary, but if the power of healing thoughts help, you've got super healing rays hitting you from all over the country. Most especially from Salt Lake. Keep your feet up. Watch tv. Write. Listen to Lauri's CD which should arrive to you tomorrow if it didn't today (mine came today) and bask (if that's at all possible given what's going on) in the global healing vibes.

5:49 PM  
Blogger chris said...

I had that with Eric and he's upstairs right now playing some very loud game with his father. Hang in there. And by "hang" I mean go to bed.

6:11 PM  
Blogger fisher queen said...

I hope this resolves itself. I hate that your next appt is July 2. It seems so far away. I'll be thinking healing thoughts.

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Lynnette said...

Stay in bed and follow doctor's orders, young lady. Please, please hang in there Cricket! Your mommies need you! And more common with donor eggs? I really need to know why...jeezaloo!

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

I really don't know much about it, but I've read about a ton of women who have it and don't remember any miscarrying from it. Hang in there Cricket!

6:25 PM  
Blogger M. said...

I will happily be a hippy-dippy dork along with you and visualize healing. Go Cricket go!

6:43 PM  
Blogger Nico said...

I am so happy to hear that Cricket is still growing away happily. The tear though? That's scary shit! I will be hippie-dippie just like you and think lots of tear-healing thoughts. I really hope that bedrest for two weeks will fix this, and the rest of your pregnancy will be 100% uneventful.

7:32 PM  
Blogger hd said...

I had one of those. They called it a subchorionic hemorrhage--a pool of blood where the placenta hadn't completely fused to the uterus. I wasn't an IVF patient, just donor sperm and IUI. My cousin had one with her last pregnancy--she was none of the above, just regular old husband sperm. Mine occurred at 7 weeks; at 9 weeks it was still visible on the U/S. Last Thursday at 12 weeks the tech couldn't even find where it had been. I guess what I'm trying to say is, take a deep breath and put your feet up. Everything is going to be okay.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Brooke said...

We're glad to hear that things are looking up. Barbeques probably don't constitute bedrest, but we do have beds here. Or maybe we'll have to see you another time.

--Emilin and Brooke

8:41 PM  
Blogger Calliope said...

right there with you on the visualizing! bbc america has some new shows on & there is always the back to back murder she wrote on the biography network.

now get your feet up!

9:25 PM  
Blogger DeadBug said...

Oh, Katie, I am so relieved that Cricket is still going strong. Letting out a long sigh for you, and hoping that the bedrest sits--lies?--easy with you.

--Bugs

9:25 PM  
Blogger domestic ambivalence? said...

Hi,

Long time reader, first time commenter... It was the reference to the Socceroos that got me!
Sending lots of postive thoughts your way for a speedy and happy resolution to the bleeding.

12:34 AM  
Blogger LilySea said...

Stay in bed!
Read a good book (Sara Waters has a new one).
Breathe in white light and breathe out bad energy.
Don't fret your mind with bad thoughts and worries via the internet.
And pray to Mary.
And I'm still knocking wood.

12:42 AM  
Blogger MegsG-H said...

I'm pulling for you and the little Crick. You will get through this!!!

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Sassy said...

I'm so sorry you're havin such a scary time. I'm thinking healing thoughts for you, partner and your little Cricket.

3:11 AM  
Blogger Pamplemousse said...

I can't do hippy-dippy, even for you hahaha. Stay off your feet and be calm. I am rooting for you and Partner and Cricket.

4:05 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

It's what Sarah had with Grrl's Gefilte, and we all know what happened there. Hang in there. It's crappy that you have to endure this, but it sounds as if it's quite likely that everything will be ok.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Tamsin said...

Katie, I'm so sorry to read about the bleeding, and I hope that all the good vibes change things for the better, and soon! Healing thoughts coming your way from England ;o)

7:27 AM  
Blogger moo said...

Thinking of you, Partner, and Cricket. I detest bedrest also, but stay down. Hang in there!

10:40 AM  
Blogger frog said...

Let me know if you need anything from the Farmers Market or the library--we'll be at both tomorrow and out your way in the evening.

Hang in there--call if you want to chat and I'll check in soon.

You're in my prayers.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Clementine said...

I'm thinking good healing thoughts for you! I'm so glad to hear that the Cricket's heartbeat is strong. Hang in there, Cricket!

12:54 PM  
Anonymous tonya cinnamon said...

sending postive vibes and healing thoughts to you.. stay in bed and rest rest rest. i know easier said then done.
sending >>>hugs<<< your alls way..

1:49 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Ooooh! Please rest, although it's so reassuring that Cricket's heart beat is nice and strong. Take it easy, and visualize away! I always felt that helped me, and the little wee one (who's now thankfully nappying). Oh, BTW, if you've payed rugby, you can totally handle labor. I'd rather do through labor again than some of those brutal drills! Be well and enjoy the world cup! Warm fuzzy thoughts for the three of you! xoxoxox!

9:57 AM  
Blogger Emmakirst said...

Hi there, longtime reader here.
With the baby I just had, I had a similar experience. Had a subchorionic hematoma too and basically put myself on bedrest. I was about 8 wks along. I had bleeding again at 16wks and when i had my 20 wk scan it had "resolved".
Glad cricket is unaffected by all this! hang in there, i know it's scary, but you's will get through.

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sending you healing vibes.

There are some fun games on MSN, I particularly used to enjoy the word ones like scrabble blast.

Karen

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Pygmalion's Wife said...

I had one of those with pregnancy number two, and currently the results are howling in time-out. I choose to believe that in two-and-a-half years you'll have the same lovely result :-)

12:33 PM  
Blogger J said...

Hey Katie....I'm a little late to the party here, but....anyway, I hope that bedrest isn't driving you batty, and that Partner is taking good care of you and also that you're not driving her batty.

If you haven't yet read/watched the Harry Potter series....I highly suggest them for bedrest. If you'd like, I can fed-ex you the movies:)

5:27 PM  
Blogger mermaidgrrrl said...

Little Mister openly SOBS every time the Socceroos kick a goal - it's hysterical!

I hope your bed rest isn't knocking you about too much babe. The odds are on your side, which is super encouraging. Fingers crossed!

12:20 AM  
Anonymous mamacate said...

Been there, done that, fished around in the toilet bowl for "tissue." If you get dark chunks that look like beef liver, don't worry. (HA! I know, but I'm just saying I passed palm-sized chunks and have two healthy kids who are being very noisy right now) The "sac" looks very different.

You can read my detailed (really, really detailed) story at http://www.angelfire.com/home/joeynrobin/cate.html and can find many other stories, with both happy and sad endings, at http://www.angelfire.com/home/joeynrobin/subchorionic.hematoma.html . The site owner's story is not a happy one, just to warn you, but the site is really good, or at least it was one of the best sources back in 2001 when I was going through this.

You probably have a small tear if your doc gave you such good odds. It sucks, but stay quiet and hang in there. For once, the odds are on your side, or at least that's what I told myself. Also maybe ask your doc about fish oil. I didn't hear about that until later in the pg, but was given some indication that it might have helped.

Email me if you want more info (though the link has an obscene amount of information about my experience, more than I actually *remember* at this point). And good luck!

12:20 PM  
Blogger Shana said...

I had a subchorionic hematoma with my last baby and had a very scary few weeks with lots of bleeding and cramping. Having been down the miscarriage road before I was quite certain it was over. Knew it, knew it, knew it. I was wrong. Baby boy is alive and well and seven months old. There are definitely success stories.

From what I've heard from Dr. Google, a lot of the outcome of a sh depends on the size and the placement.

I hope all turns out well for you and the Cricket stays firmly put. What an agonizing week you have ahead of you.

11:10 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Sending you love and hope!

11:54 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

Oh, Katie, I hope everything's going OK. I know for a fact that these things can resolve, but still, I really wish you didn't have to face such terrible worry. You guys have been through too much already. I sincerely hope you catch a break this time. Praying for you--

11:31 AM  
Blogger Nico said...

Hey Chica,

How's the bedrest going? I hope you're managing to occupy yourself. (And that the bleeding has subsided!)

1:04 PM  

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