Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Yes, We Have No Lupron Today

The phone rang at 8:37. Nurse from Dr. BusyBusyBusy's office. Partner quickly handed the phone off to me.

"I'm so sorry," she said, "I thought you got the message."

"I did get the message that something had changed, but I'm not sure what. Are we supposed to come in for our Lupron today or not?"

"No," and suddenly the green and yellow morning turned red. No. No. "No," she continued, "I left a message with one of your moms telling her your Lupron shot was cancelled, and she said she'd call you in South Carolina. If I had known she wasn't going to call you, I'd have called myself."

I bit down on my tongue hard. It was hard for me to not instantly assign blame. But since my mom was with us in South Carolina, I was pretty sure she was innocent. (And to be fair, just so you know, there were two house/cat sitters here it could have been, so even thought my mother in free and clear in this particular case, it's still grey.)

My friend Lynne called soon after I hung up with the clinic. I told her the story. She was fuming, but not at the failed message giver: "It's easy to be made at Partner's mother, but what your clinic did was wrong. And perhaps even illegal." She was ready to call the clinic herself and give them a piece of her mind. I love having friends like this. I especially love Lynne. She's a mama lion, just like me!

But the thing is, I was already mad at the clinic for rescheduling our cycle on the day we were supposed to start. Don't get me wrong, I think our RE should get a vacation too, just like the rest of us. Me own pop is a doc, so I know physicians are human with real needs to get away from it all like the rest of us. But my dad schedules his vacations with considerable advance. And our calendar was already in place, and then the doctor decided to go on vacation. And we weren't the only ones screwed: apparently about 20 other couples are up the creek too.

It's too hard for me to be mad at the clinic for relying on "one of our mothers" to pass the message along too. Instead, I'm mad at not getting the definitive message. And I'm mad at Partner for not picking up the phone to find out who the culprit was. As far as I know, she'll never confront anyone about it. It feels like a big deal to me, and as best as I can tell, she isn't miffed in the slightest.

We had to go get my bcps and our new Very Important Calendar. At the office, I gave Dr. BBB a hard time. He said to me, "Well, you know, I haven't had a vacation all summer because my wife is pregnant, and it's hard to schedule when she's pregnant."

"I wouldn't know about that," I said to him.

When he left the room, Partner chastised me for being too hard on him. But the thing is, I think I was easy on him really. I didn't tell him in great detail about crying this morning, and how I felt he was not being responsible and how as if this wasn't enough of a rollercoaster, he had to pull this too. I did not tell him any of this at all. And when he reappeared, after Partner admonished me, I cracked a few jokes and let him off the hook he never seemed to be quite on. The big one who got away.

So now we have Lupron on the 21st of September instead. And procedure week is probably the week of October 17th, which means, that there is some likelihood that we will implant either the day before my birthday or actually on it.

And I am taking that as the first concrete sign of the silver lining.


Blogger Nico said...

I am so sorry. It is so hard when you've gotten yourself psyched up to start the cycle and then can't go through with it. And for it to have been avoidable? Sucks even more. I'm surprised (even though I probably shouldn't be) about Dr. BBB's lack of understanding and forethought. Bastard.

6:31 PM  
Blogger ~cj~ said...

I'm sorry your schedule was interupted. I can't imagine your disappointement. Erick and I tried for two years before we got pregnant (after we decided not to have kids) and it was frustrating doing everything how we were supposed to- and no baby. Keep up the positive thinking... it will work out, its a matter of time... and GOD knows its hard to be patient in times like this. (I am an inpatient person)Just think about how lucky this baby is to be so wanted.

7:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't understand how they can do that to you. It seems so unfair. I also can't understand why they would leave such an important personal message with anyone who wasn't you or partner. I'm glad you had a go at him, he should realise that you really don't need any more stress now.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Soul Searching said...

WTF?! I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It's just crap. Plain and simple.

11:32 PM  
Blogger chris said...

That's crap. I'm sorry.

2:16 PM  
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10:18 AM  
Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Thanks for the good thoughts, friends. Let's just hope that the procedure falls on my birthday, because that actually seems like so much fun to me I can hardly stand it...

11:33 AM  

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