Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Waylaid Women

If you take one look at my blogroll, you'll see that I read more than a few blogs by women who are struggling or have struggled with fertility. I hope it's not something that neither I nor my partner have to deal with-- although with several docs suspecting the endo in me, I worry sometimes. On every one of the blogs I have listed, and others I read regularly but haven't listed, there's something going on that I identify with-- maybe big, maybe small.

What exactly is it that I identify with in the fertility blogs? I think that being a lesbian couple who wants to create a family via their own pregnancies and some donated sperm, some identification that takes place-- yet at the same time, I wouldn't vouch for this as a blanket statement, and I hardly want to be the representative for [blogging] lesbian wannabemoms. It's just true for me. It is a foregone conclusion, we need to track ovulation cycles with scientific rigor-- at pricetags in the hundreds of dollars for one little measly vial of semen-- one might want to just be ONE HUNDRED PERCENT POSTIVE that ovulation is indeed taking place. IUI is just about a foregone conclusion. Easy pregancy isn't a matter of fact. Lots of money out of pocket. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I was a great party for a three year old today (and that Sesame Street song kept ratcheting through my head: "One of these ones is not like the other..." I felt very much like the only non-mom there.) Anyhow, at the great party, I had a discussion with a friend of a friend about the ins and outs of pregnancy for lesbians. She was sympathetic, telling me how when she wanted to get pregnant, she and her husband just had more sex than usual during ovulation and +/- three or so days on either side. Wistfulness sets in. I wonder if that's the same pining women going through IVF feel sometimes. This is not jealousy or envy. I am happy for my friends!

When we were reading comments potential donors made at the cryobank, quite a few them brought tears to my eyes. These men were senstitive to the fact that anyone coming to the sperm bank had some serious aspirations about creating a family. It was touching. It is touching.

I think what it really boils down to is there are these women out there, like me, who really want to be having children, and for one reason or another, we've been waylaid. Well, let's have a drink girls, while we can. To our beautiful bodies and all our love waiting... Just waiting... (And if you're not in this crowd of women, cheersto you too; I don't like to see anyone left out!)


Blogger Soul Searching said...

I found your blog while looking at other fertility sites, and it's become one that I read regularly. Your writing style is so soothing, and there's nothing better than reading about people who are different, yet so similar.

Thanks for sharing your story. I can't wait to read the good news some time soon :)

9:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home