Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Frog Asked...

...if I am ever going to blog again. Here I am. I don't exactly know where to start, but there are 500 things I would blog about if I knew how to start blogging about them or wasn't worried about the fact that the blog is less than anonymous now and once that happens, it seems harder to blog honestly about things happening in one's life.

I suppose the biggest update is the fact that I am an RN now, which ostensibly gives me job security. Maybe that works anywhere else other than Michigan. Because I live in a 100 mile radius of Detroit, everything seems contingent on the auto industry. Hospitals with nursing shortages are in hiring freezes-- which is bad enough, but some have even fired nurses! This makes finding a job that much harder. I have cast my net wide and I feel that soon something will come in, but until that point, I teeter on the brink. I interviewed for one job that I really really really wanted, but didn't get. This is a relatively new phenomena for me-- Not getting the job. I usually have gotten any job I set my heart on, but this one passed me by. And I was counting on it, literally, counting the money, counting the benefits, counting the hours. Now I am back to square one and feeling incredibly depressed about it all. It's not good for me to sit in this house.

Ah, and this house. We are in the tiny house I wanted so badly. But we're renting it. I am supposed to buy the house in four months from now. I can't tell you how apprehensive I am about it. The house is quite small, and definitely has some foibles we wouldn't have known about if we hadn't been living it, but I am still charmed and love living in a small house. My ability to get a home loan might be seriously damaged though with the economy tanking as it is, and even more so here in Michigan.

Like the economy, I also feel a certain amount of depression right now. I am struggling with making some decisions and feel a little vulnerable, but like always I'm quite sure that I will come out of this at some point a stronger person. I took a load of laundry to the basement and just started crying. I felt so angry at that point about the tears. When I was seriously depressed at one point in my life, I promised myself I wouldn't get near that point again, but I feel myself coming close to it. Making a decision, getting a job,-- things like that might help. And maybe even blogging. I can't promise, but perhaps I'll try to start writing again in order to try and stave off these killer winter blues.


Anonymous calliope said...

please oh please keep blogging, sweetie. I have MISSED YOU.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Emilin said...

Frog asked, but we were all wondering. Say what you can. We love to read.

9:30 AM  
Blogger agoodlistener said...

First of all, congratulations on your RN! I've been following your exploits here for some time and I am very happy for you. That is a wonderful achievement--not everyone can do that, you know.

Second of all, I'm sure you have explored all possible aspects of nursing work including hospitals, nursing homes, urgent care centers and PRN work. How about nursefinders or one of those agencies? It's good money and OK for a while until your dream job comes in. (I don't usually advocate using an agency, but they can be good tools for some people.)

Merry Christmas!

9:51 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

Re: the fact that the blog is less than anonymous
It takes great courage to blog honestly. I've always admired you for that. The need I feel to edit for my audience stunts my writing making it a burden rather than a joy.
You are a writer. You need to write for you, not for the audience, even though we all enjoy it.
Besides, we already know everything about you. You can't surprise us. There is no need to hide.

11:55 PM  

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