Green Snot, Great Trepidation
After an extended break at the holidays, we're back to day-care, which I, unbelievably, have no issues with whatsoever. However, today on my wee wee break, I went to see my Cricket and sat down on the floor with him. While down at baby level, it was clear to me how many crusties were in the noses of every baby there. Some babies have running snot, and these children get attended to promptly. Green snot is visible from above. Crusties in the noses are not.
I've made my peace with daycare related illness. It's just going to happen and I choose to look at it as good attempt to mature my kid's immune system early. I also let him eat Cheerios off our floor, so a total germophobe I am not. Plus there are some theories out there that maintain that auto-immune disorders are the result of a "bored" immune system. So, hey, let's not be boring! Let's get sick!
Not that I'm seeking out sickness, you know? And colds are nasty, etc. However, they've suddenly turned more insidious. Little viral triggers to asthma.
Say it again, a chronic illness, not the end of the world, but still overwhelming me at times: Asthma. Yes, Cricket has been officially diagnosed with asthma and not unsurprisingly, colds and viruses trigger attacks. *Sigh* Thus, every crusted booger filled nose today made me shiver thinking of how we'd probably be awake for the night, listening to our wee boy cough. And cough. And cough. I'd like to post more about my feelings here, and hopefully I'll be able to do that, because last night as I stood at the freezer in the garage, I was completely overwhelmed. So far, his asthma has only required a few albuterol treatments for wheeziness and daily nebulized steroids, but suddenly I started worrying about emergent attacks, the problems of vaccinations when on steroids, the possibility of ever feeling safe leaving him with a babysitter for any extended time, the scariness of the ER in the middle of the night. Nothing of course we've had to deal with, but I'm always so good at seeing the scary looming shapes in the deep dark future.
And I've gone totally opposite of my usual m.o. Unlike when we were dealing with (in)fertility, and I got my degree from Dr. Google U in reproductive endocrinology, I've so far not consulted Dr. Google at all. I've tried so hard, in fact, to be almost willfully ignorant. But now I'm in a pediatric nursing class and clinical, and asthma is undoubtedly going to rear its massively ugly head to me. I'm going to have to learn about it. And be tested. And help treat kids other than my own who are having emergent attacks. I know there's worse out there, but shit. My sweet Cricket, wheezing and coughing, smiling the whole time? It's heart breaking.
We'll get through it; we always do. But for now, the previously nonthreatening green snot has become enemy number one. I've got to come to some reckoning, otherwise we'll be hermits in Michigan, because, hey, where are you not going to find some super colored mucus around here in the deep winter? Oh well.